


my time with Mark Lee

by rosesandpeachblossoms



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25078120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandpeachblossoms/pseuds/rosesandpeachblossoms
Summary: a reflection of life as you grow up with Mark Lee as your best friend
Relationships: Mark Lee (NCT) & Reader, Mark Lee (NCT)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 69





	my time with Mark Lee

The first time you remember meeting Mark, you were six. Skipping through the halls in your baby blue sun dress and ballet flats with your hair in cute little pigtails. You remember heading back to class after a trip to the bathroom and you hear soft sniffles coming from the janitor’s closet. Even at the tender age of six, you still had a big heart and a curious mind and decided to investigate.

You slowly pull open the door and see a small boy, probably the same age as you, curled into a small ball in the corner, crying into his knees. At the creak of the door and the incoming light, he looks up at you with puffy eyes and a red nose.

“Why are you crying?” you softly ask, kneeling down in front of him.

“I just moved and I don’t have any friends. Everyone is saying that I talk funny.” His words are not the slightest bit broken, even with the little sniffles.

Your little heart broke for him. You didn’t understand why the other kids were so mean to him.“I don’t think you talk funny.” You wipe his cheeks with a clean tissue from your pocket.

“R-really?” his eyes lighten up.

“Really. I’ll be your friend. We can play together at recess!”

“You will? Really really?” You watch as his eyes started to light up. At the tender age of six, you didn’t know that the sparkles in his eyes was just light reflecting off them, you thought he was full of magic and in some ways…he really was.

“Really really! I pinky promise!” You smile at him and hold out your pinky and watch as he hesitantly wraps his pinky around yours. You take his hands and pull him to his feet and see that he’s the same height as you. He’s wearing jeans and a spiderman shirt. Walking back to his classroom which is right across from yours is quick and you watch from the door as he takes his seat by the window. You wave at him before strolling back into yours thinking off all the fun games you can play with your new friend.

Recess comes in a flash. You find yourself running around laughing with him as you watch him u and at lunch you find out that he loves watermelon and you end up giving him all of yours because you like the way he smiles when he eats it. He gives you all his strawberries as a silent thank you.

Unfortunately, lunch came to an end as quickly as it started and you had to go back to class. But at the end of the day when it was time to go home, you spot Mark again, but this time he had on his backpack and baseball cap. You run over to him and gently tap him on the shoulder which startles him, but he still smiles at you. You start talking about all the things you both like. You find out you both love cookies and cream ice cream and dogs.

A car horn draws the attention of you both as you see a black SUV pull up and a woman call for Mark. Mark waves at his mom as an acknowledgement before he gets up from the bench and runs towards the car, before he gets in, he runs back to you and hands you a note before running back to his mom and getting in. You watch as he drives away, smiling and waving at you.

You wave back, happy that you had made a new friend, You unfold the note and find a sweet message in his handwriting:

_Thank you for being my friend. – Mark_

That note would be something that you cherish for years to come. A small joy, a small treasure that warms your heart when you revisit the memory. Little did you know that you would be friends for years to come.

***

A few days later you find out that the house that has been “For Sale” has been bought and a lot of moving trucks started arriving and moving things inside. You watch from your window as a young couple goes in and out of their new home getting rid of various boxes among other things. The next day being much calmer than the last and your parents being the social people they are decided to bake fresh cookies and banana bread to welcome them to the area. One quick forced outfit change for you (because welcoming new neighbors while in Minnie Mouse pajamas was unacceptable), you found yourself standing next to your father at the door of your new neighbors.

A young attractive woman answers the door with a kind smile on her beautiful face. Your parents introduce themselves and you and welcomed her to the neighborhood with the baked goods. She gratefully accepts them telling you that her son absolutely loves chocolate chip cookies. Mrs. Lee quickly invites you all in and you are wowed. For having just moved in the day before, the house was already so well decorated and furnished. You can see the photos that dawned the shelves and the bookcase that neatly displayed books of various genres.

“Honey! Come down we have guests!”

“I’ll be down in a minute! Minhyung just got out of the bath and is refusing to get dressed!”

“Goodness gracious…please excuse me. My son is a very active boy and he likes to do his own thing from time to time. Please make yourselves at home and I’ll be back shortly.” She politely excuses herself and runs upstairs and ten seconds later, a man, who you assumed to be her husband appears. He is just as good looking as his wife and you can see why they are together.

You are beyond excited because they have a kid for you to play with and not just be bored as the adults’ exchange pleasantries and make conversation. A few minutes later of ignoring the mindless chatter that was exchanged between the adults, Mrs. Lee comes down the stairs with a fully dressed boy attached to her hip and your eyes widen at the boy.

“Mark!” his name leaves your lips without hesitation as soon as his name pops into your head. The sudden exclamation startles your parents a little and draws the attention of the boy and his mother.

“Y/N!” He immediately jumps out of his mother’s arms and runs over to you and hugs you.

“Mom, this is the friend I told you about from school!”

“Oh! You’re Y/N. Mark was telling me about you.” Your parents start talking about the exchange that just occurred in front of them.

It’s not long until you both are running around the house and Mark shows you all of his favorite dinosaurs, excitedly explaining to you why he likes them and why they’re so cool. Then you’re outside running around in the backyard playing tag. It’s only when you accidently tackle Mark into the ground, both of you just laughing and rolling around in the grass that you decide that being Mark’s friend is one of the best things in the world.

***

Summer comes in a flash and you both are sent to the same camp. At one point during the swimming time, one of the older boys started making fun of you. You felt helpless and started tearing up because the things the boy was saying was really awful and mean. He was really hurting your feelings.

Mark finally resurfaced after demonstrating a front flip off the dock and he saw this happening. In a blind whirl of emotions, Mark quietly made his way around the dock and climbed up behind the boy making fun of you before he silently motioned for you to move out of the way on his count.

Five seconds later, Mark is charging the boy from behind and shoves him off the dock and into the water. Of course, all the kids started cheering because the boy that Mark just shoved was making all the kids cry, ruining camp for them.

Unfortunately, one of the counselors saw this encounter and pulled both boys away from the activity. Both parents were called and arrived at the camp within the hour. The bully had a large amount of accusations against him and was sent home.

Mark wasn’t without fault considering he pushed him instead of talking to him, but upon hearing Mark’s reasoning, his parents were understanding and frankly, quite proud of him for standing up for his friend. But as a front for the head counselor, they “grounded” him for a week with no TV and no bedtime snacks.

Mark joins you outside on the bench of the cabin and looks up at the sky, watching the clouds float by.

“Why?” you ask quietly.

“Why what?”

“Why did you do that? You got in trouble because of me.”

“Y/N, he was being mean to you and hurting your feelings. I’d have been just as guilty for not doing something for my best friend.”

You both laid out on a beach towel by the lake, watching the clouds and finding all the weird shapes. You silently take his hand in yours and give it a gentle squeeze that says, _“thank you”_.

You were 11.

***

“God why are you acting like this? I said I was sorry!” Mark exclaims as you walk away from him across the soccer field at school.

“You really don’t get it do you?” You were so pissed off at this point, you could barely hear Mark trying to talk to you over the harsh winds with snow smashing you in the face.

“God why are you acting like such a bitch right now?!” that made you stop dead in your tracks.

“Oh, I’m being a bitch because I’m upset? You know what, find your own way home.” You sprint the rest of the way to the parking lot and ignore the vibrating of your phone and only focus on the squeal of your car tires as you leave the parking lot. You make the mistake of looking into your rearview mirror and you can see Mark lower his phone away from his ear as he disappears, figure shrouded in snow and falls to his knees, almost like a scene straight out of a drama.

You pull into the garage, kill the engine, just let all the silence sink in. For the first time in years of being friends, you cry. You didn’t even realize that your eyes had been welling up with tears and they just streamed down your face.

Mark had never used such crude language with you. He’s never once called you a bitch. Hearing your best friend call you that was shattering in such a different way. You can still hear the vibrating of your phone and you glance down and see that its Mark still calling you. After 20 minutes of ignoring his calls, they finally stop. Your parents are out of town and so it’s just you alone in the house.

Heading inside you just shut yourself away in your room and cry until your eyes run dry. You stare at the various photos of Mark and you that were all over the wall and you can feel yourself about ready to cry again.

You text Seulgi about what happened, and she quickly responds that she would be over in 20 minutes to talk. You wash your face, hopefully to remove the redness from you crying and change into shorts and an oversized hoodie that was actually yours and not one that you had taken from Mark. You can’t even be bothered with him. Wearing one of his hoodies, the smell of his cologne would just make things worse for you.

You’re sitting on the couch with Netflix when Seulgi comes in without warning holding a bag from the convenience store. Guessing what is inside the bag isn’t hard because she always knows what is going to make you feel better. She takes off her shoes throws her jacket on the back of the kitchen chair and joins you on the couch.

She doesn’t even let you start talking about the incident until you have at least two spoonfuls of ice cream in your stomach. But when you do start talking about what happened, all your emotions just come rushing back and the ice cream is long forgotten as you break down again. Seulgi talks you down until you’re okay again and calm. You’re still hurt, but you figured that if you sleep on it, it won’t hurt as bad tomorrow morning.

All you can hear is the thrumming of your own heart, even with Seulgi sleeping right next to you.

The next morning, you both wake up and shower before school. Seulgi drives that day and takes you to grab some good coffee to help you feel better because she can see the dark circles under your eyes from not sleeping.

You avoid Mark for the next three days. You see him at the end of the hallway and immediately turn around and head in the opposite direction. You don’t miss the various messages that flood your inbox or the notes that fall out of your locker in Mark’s classic messy scrawl, all of which you discard.

_12:45 pm_

_Mark: can we please talk?_

_1:19 pm_

_Mark: please I’m sorry…I’m an idiot._

_5:42 pm_

_Mark: Y/N please, talk to me._

_1:27 am_

_Mark: I didn’t mean what I said._

The following morning, your parents are back and your mother knocks on your door saying that Mark is downstairs and wants to talk to you.

For the first time, you tell your mom to not let him up…that you don’t want to see him. Your mother is shocked by your request but understands that you have your reasons. You quickly head towards the door to make sure that you mom doesn’t let him up against your wishes. To your relief, she doesn’t.

She tells Mark that you weren’t up for a visitor at the moment and that you would see him in school later. Which under normal circumstances would be true, but given the current situation, it would not happen if you had any say in it.

You finished brushing your hair and changed out of your oversized sleep shirt into come black skinny jeans and a baby blue off the shoulder top with some white sneakers. Just because you felt like a mess, doesn’t mean you needed to dress like one. Throwing your books into your bag and checking that you had your phone and wallet you head downstairs to the kitchen where your mother is finishing breakfast.

“Honey, it’s not my business, but is everything okay with Mark? He hasn’t been around lately, and you didn’t want to see him today? That’s not very like you.” You mom asks as she puts scrambled eggs on a plate.

“I don’t want to talk about it, mom, please, don’t make me.”

“Honey, I’m sure what he did wasn’t right but shutting him out is not going to fix anything. Hear him out. You two have been friends for so long, you should be able to have these kinds of conversations with him.” The words swirled around in your thoughts.

You simply nodded and ate your scrambled eggs before throwing on your winter jacket, grabbing your things and heading out to your car. The drive to school was silent so your turn on the radio to create some sort of background noise. Unfortunately, the song that came on was Frank Ocean’s “White Ferrari”. That was the song that you and Mark liked to listen to. You could say that it was the one song that you both associated with each other.

The hardest part of your school day was having class with him. You could feel his gaze on you, wishing that you would just give him a chance. Against your better judgement, you text Mark telling him that you would talk with him tonight at the usual spot and to not be late cause you wouldn’t wait for him this time and there would be no more chances.

Mark fishes out his phone and reads your text. You can see his shoulders visibly relax, like he’s been holding so much tension in them for so long. You hesitantly meet his gaze which is soft and relieved. You read his reply which is a simple, _“I promise I won’t be late.”_

The day flies by and before you know it, you’re home. You change into sweatpants and a hoodie to go out. You arrive at your usual meeting spot of the park that’s down the street from your houses and find Mark already sitting there on the swing waiting for you. You notice that he’s only in a long sleeve and jeans. You at least remembered to put your winter jacket and a hoodie on. You unzip your winter jacket and walk up behind him before draping it over his shoulders.

“You came.”

“Of course, I did. And you’re an idiot for not wearing a jacket.” You sit down on the swing next to him and watch as he threads his arms through the holes of your puffer jacket and starts warming up. You can see how cold he is, his lips are blue, cheeks flushed...it hurts you to see him like this.

“I know…I kinda forgot to grab one because I didn’t want to miss the only opportunity that I have to fix this.” You purse your lips and nod waiting for him to continue. “I lost track of time and I know I’m such a fool for not paying attention and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I really am. I know that this doesn’t fix everything, but I really am sorry.” You watch Mark fidgets with his fingers, afraid to meet your gaze.

You couldn’t hold back anymore. In less than 3 seconds you made your choice. In the first, you realized how much you heart already hurt from not seeing him and having those deep talks over Chinese food or waiting Itaewon Class with him after school before doing homework. In the second you realized that you missed hearing him laugh at your quirky jokes. In the third and final second, you get off your swing and take his hands in yours, pulling him up to his feet, just like you were six again. You wrap your arms around his neck in the first hug you’ve had from him in a week. He wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face in your shoulder.

Hugging Mark has changed over the years. He went from being the same height as you to a good few inches taller. But the way he hugged you hasn’t changed. He’s warm, strong and firm. He smelt like his cologne and laundry detergent.

The only thing you regret in that moment at 16 years old is you being so stubborn that it almost cost you your best friend. And you admit to yourself that you would give up everything just to keep Mark in your life because a life without Mark isn’t something that you could never imagine, nor did you want to find out what it would be like.

***

It’s the week after finals for senior year of high school and you and Mark are just chilling out by the pool in his backyard. Mark is floating on his back in the water and you’re lying on a chair getting some quality vitamin D.

Something just clicked in your brain in that moment you’re watching Mark float around. The other night, you had a dream. You were lying in bed with someone. That person’s face a complete blur, but he had broad shoulders, dark hair and a deep voice that ran chills up your spine, every touch, every graze from his fingers on your skin pulsed electricity through your veins.

You watch as Mark lifts himself out of the pool and onto the deck. Its only when he has his back to you and all you see is the muscles moving under his skin as he dries his hair that it all clicked. Mark has broad shoulders and dark hair. You always loved Mark’s voice especially when he would sing for you while taking late night drives at two in the morning because you couldn’t sleep or when he would just casually strum his guitar in his room with the windows open for you to hear. He knew you always liked to hear him play the guitar and sing, even though you’ve never admitted it aloud.

He was the person who made you smile a little wider, made you laugh a little harder, and when you were apart you missed him minutes after he left. You always held his hand a little tighter and hugged him just a little longer. You recall all the times that he had been shirtless around you and the one time you accidentally forgot he was in the bathroom and walked in on him as he got out of the shower.

He was your person. You didn’t have other guys, you had Mark. He knew your secrets and held you through your pain. He was the person who always made sure to call you at exactly midnight on your birthday and always gave the most thoughtful gifts. Mark was the person who would comfort you when you were sad and celebrated with you when you were happy.

That night, after Mark was back in his room and asleep, you flipped on your desk light and just quietly turned on some soft R&B and silently wrote out your confession.

_“I’m in love with you. I know you don’t love me back and you don’t have to, but I’m willing to just be friends to keep you in my life because that’s how much you mean to me. I love you Mark.”_

Tearing out that paper, you folded it and tucked it away in the same book that you kept the note from Mark all those years ago. Those were the only two secrets Mark would never find out about. Not at this moment. And possibly not ever.

***

You and Mark naturally end up attending the same university. Mark as a double major in music and dance and you as an English major. Both of you get invited to a party thrown by a really popular fraternity on campus. Both of you show up and immediately lose each other in the thrum of bodies. You manage to make your way into the kitchen where you fix yourself a drink of a little booze and sprite before taking a small sip and your nose immediately scrunching at the burning feeling.

You make your way through the sea of bodies before your eyes land on something that just halts your world. Mark is pressed against the wall with another girl kissing him. She’s beautiful. Long platinum blonde hair and a killer figure that anyone would want. Someone who isn’t you.

You feel the hot tears well up at the sight, not completely sure how long you’ve been staring and you immediately sink into the sea of people and manage to get out of the house before throwing your drink somewhere, making a mad dash back for your dorm room. Seulgi attended the same college and you ended up being roommates, so when you enter the room again, eyes red and puffy, she immediately stops what she’s doing and catches you as your legs turn into jello. She carries you to the couch and just holds you as you cry.

She asks you what happened once you’ve calmed down. You tell her what happened at the party and finally the one secret that you’ve guarded ever so carefully next to your heart.

“I’m in love with Mark.” The words sound so strange when you say them, but they’ve never felt more right.

“I know, I’ve known that for years. Anyone with eyes knows that, but I’m so glad to hear you say it.” She continues to hold you as tears continue to flow.

“Seul, what do I do? I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me back.” You feel the cracks in your heart deepen.

“I would love to be able to give you all the answers, but I can’t. If you and Mark are meant to be together it will happen when the time is right.”

***

Over the next few weeks, your relationship with Mark begins to fade. You stop picking up his phone calls and answering his texts. You stop showing up to lunch dates because the first time you decided to go, you walk through the door and see the same girl from the party with him. Everything was fading into the worst nightmare…your life no longer including Mark.

You throw yourself into all your schoolwork and making sure everything is perfect and your grades were nothing short of stellar. You start hanging out with Seulgi more and doing other things that keep your mind off Mark. You would go shopping and have movie marathons with all your favorite snacks. You start working out more and focusing on yourself more than you used to. You thoroughly enjoyed your time with Seulgi because she started teaching you the choreography that she’s been working on to pass time. There was a slight tinge of guilt for using Seulgi to occupy your thoughts because you didn’t want to think about Mark at all.

The only wrench in the plans to successfully bury your feelings was that your parents had planned; a vacation over break with the Lees’ and you’d already agreed to go and can’t really back out now.

The day that you were due to leave for vacation, you woke up early and packed to leave after lecture. Throwing them in the backseat of your car, you head to your Modern Literature in Film lecture where you try (and ultimately fail) to analyze Great Expectations.

Leaving the lecture hall after submitting your paper, you begin the 4-hour drive to the vacation house where you would be trapped for an entire week. The thought was absolutely dreadful as it meant more opportunities for encounters and everything resurfacing.

Knowing how you feel and not being completely capable of hiding your feelings very well was not going to be boding well in your favor. The hours seemed to pass by due to the lack of traffic. Even with you stopping at every pit stop trying to prolong your arrival, you knew you couldn’t do it forever. Making the turn onto the road, you begin your descent into the woods to the home where your parents would be waiting for you.

Much to your dismay, you see Mark who apparently arrived just before you did and is currently walking up the porch stairs and into the house with his black jansport and a small duffle. You would recognize that backpack anywhere because he never goes anywhere without it. You both used to joke that he would sleep with it.

You park your car next to his, which is the only spot left. Cutting the engine, you reach into the backseat and pull your two bags up front with you. Taking one last deep breath, you get out and begin entering the house.

Upon entering, you’re met with a warm welcoming interior and the smell of someone cooking in the kitchen. You round the corner through the living room and into the kitchen where you find your parents and the Lees’ minus Mark.

“Oh dear, so nice of you to finally join us! We were almost afraid that you had gotten lost.” Mrs. Lee welcomes you with a warm hug and contrary to her belief, getting lost would have been a dream in your book.

“Sorry, I had to make a few stops, the drive was making me a little nauseated with all the winding roads.” You sheepishly comment, cheeks flushing a little.

“Awh well, you can go put your things in your room. We have you and Mark upstairs and the adults will be down here as to not ‘cramp your style’ if ya know what I mean.” You father jokes and everyone laughs while your entire being just cringes. “Your room is the first one on the left.”

Walking up the stairs and finding your room, you notice a bit of noise coming from the room across the hall from yours. You quietly slip in and settle your bags on the bed, feeling the softness of the sheets, sinking into the plushness of the mattress. You begin taking things out and folding them, trying to focus on anything else but the person less than 25 feet from you.

Due to your lack of time to do laundry, all of your own hoodies were dirty, so you had to bring one of the many that you had taken from Mark over the years. The hoodie that you had brought with you was one that you had recently acquired within the last 4 months. You gently hold it up to your nose and you can still faintly smell his cologne. You gently fold it and tuck it away beneath all your other belongings.

Placing all your clothes in your drawers, you begin taking out the other miscellaneous things like your skincare, your perfume, and other toiletries, organizing them on the dresser for easy access in the mornings.

There’s a soft knock on the door frame and you don’t have to be facing them to know who it is. “Hey.” You turn and see Mark leaning against the door frame. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and grey joggers with his hands shoved into his pockets, but no one has ever looked better in them compared to Mark.

“Hey.” The silence is beyond awkward and the pause is a little too long for comfort.

“Listen, I know things are a little ‘tense’ right now and I want to talk about it… we need to, but can we please just act like things are fine so that our parents don’t worry?”

You give him a small smile and nod in understanding, not really sure about what would fall out of your mouth if you opened it.

Mark gives you a small smile before he heads downstairs to rejoin your parents. You finally exhale, not realizing that you had been holding your breath this entire time.

Mark really hasn’t changed much, but knowing him the way you do, you notice the subtle things. His cheeks are more defined and the bags under his eyes are darker. But most importantly, the light in his eyes is dimmed. It’s not as bright as it used to be. His eyes were always a warm and luminous every time you looked into them, but now they’re a faded shadow of what they once were.

Freshening up a bit, you rejoin everyone downstairs who is currently setting up for lunch.

Your eyes fall on Mark who is carrying the kimchijjigae to the table with Mrs. Lee carrying the bowls of rice to accompany the stew. Kimchijjigae was the one food staple of yours that would never get old. One you could eat for days and never get sick of it. The only thing you liked with your kimchi stew was a little bit of fresh cucumber kimchi to give a nice lift and a refreshing crunch between the stew and rice. Ironically, sitting on the table is a small serving of cucumber kimchi next to your bowl of rice.

Plucking a little half slice into your mouth, you find it absolutely perfect. It’s spicy and nutty from the sesame oil, perfectly crunchy from the cucumbers and little thin slices of onion. And there is only one person on the planet, other than you, who knows how to make cucumber kimchi the way you like it. You notice Mark washing out the small bowl he probably used to make your kimchi. You remember your silent agreement and suck up your pride for the time being. You shove your phone into your pocket and walk over next to Mark and grab a towel and start drying the silverware, giving him a small smile.

“I didn’t know you still remembered how to make my favorite kimchi.” You lightly comment as you dry a pan and place it back in the cupboard.

he chuckles and it resounds so deep within you with familiarity, “How could I not?” he jokes, “you literally gave me cooking lessons so that I could help you cook and not just me the food taster.” Him recalling that memory caused laughter to bubble up from you. You remember that fall. Mark was honestly so bad at cooking, like couldn’t fry an egg bad at cooking.

“That’s because the first time you made me breakfast you nearly burnt the house down because you put the eggs into the pan with a ton of oil and it started popping everywhere!” Mark laughed at the stupid image of him failing. Both of you continued your small talk until it came time to sit down and eat. If you’re being honest, Mark’s laugh was one of the best things in the world. You wanted to bottle it up and keep it close to your heart.

Throughout the course of the meal, you slowly regained all those small happy feelings of being with Mark. He talked about how some of his latest compositions were coming and how he was working on some pieces with a guy in the same program as him that’s a few years older. You typically would know all the intimate details of those songs at this point, but seeing as you’ve avoided Mark all semester, you knew nothing. There’s a whole chunk of time that’s just missing and you’ll never be able to get it back.

Maybe it’s time to put your pride aside and actually listen to what he has to say. You quietly excuse yourself and lock yourself in your bedroom. Quickly scrawling out the first message you’ve written to Mark in weeks, you hesitantly slip into Mark’s room and lay the note on his bed. It’s been less than 4 hours since you've arrived, and the room already smells like him. You just pray that you made the right decision.

***

It’s one in the morning and you’re outside on the porch in your hoodie and sweatpants, you played with the ears on your much-loved bunny slippers while you waited for Mark. You wondered if you were making the biggest mistake of your life by letting him explain himself. It would be like pouring salt on a fresh wound.

The door of the house creaks open and Mark emerges wearing a long sleeve Nike shirt and the same grey sweats from earlier today. He quickly spots you and motions for you to follow him away from the house.

The air was cool and crisp with the scent of fallen leaves and freshly cut grass and a hint of burning firewood. You follow Mark deep into the woods and eventually emerge to find a huge lake that seems to span on for miles. He heads towards the edge of the dock where he sits down with his legs hanging over the edge. You slide your slippers off before sitting down next to him.

You watch as the moon’s reflection ripples across the water from the various leaves that fall in, creating these perfect little circles that seem to go on forever before slowly disappearing.

“Do you hate me?” his words barely come out audible, just low enough for you to barely hear them. Like it’s a secret he’s hoping that even the moon can’t hear.

“Do I- what?” You’re baffled by the question. You couldn’t hate him even if you tried.

“Do you hate me? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Why you won’t answer my phone calls or even read my texts? You were my best friend, what happened, I don’t understand-“

“Of course, you don’t understand because even I don’t understand.” You cut him off, a little sharper than you meant to.

“What does that even mean? Y/N, help me understand. What did I do wrong? I remember going to that party on campus and we got separated and then someone told me they saw you crying and-, what happened that night?” Mark bringing up that memory was sharp. It flashed across your mind faster than you wanted it to. You remember the burn of the alcohol, the smell of sweat and weed, but more importantly, you remember seeing Mark kiss someone who wasn’t you.

You finally look him in the eyes and can see that he’s just as confused as you feel right now, “You really don’t remember that night, do you?”

“Oh God no, the minute I walked through the door, Yuta gave me a cup full of tequila and that’s it… I remember someone telling me you left crying and when I tried to leave, I-“

“Do you remember Yeri?” Yes the girl that Mark kissed that night was part of the sorority that was very close with the fraternity that threw the party that night.

“I remember her being there, but what about her?”

“…you kissed her, Mark. In front of everyone at the party. I was coming back from the kitchen to find you and there you are against the wall lip locked with one of the most popular girls on campus?” How could you compete with that? You couldn’t. So many thoughts passed through your mind all at once, it’s almost overwhelming, “God, I’m such a fool, a fucking fool.” You run your hand over your face, feeling the hot tears as they streamed.

“Y/N, you’re not a fool-“

“Oh yes I am. I know that I’m the fool here and you know why? Because I thought I could be just friends with you and that would be enough. I thought that just having you as my best friend would be enough, but it’s not. I can’t be your friend Mark. I know that I’m the fool because even with everything that’s happened, I’m still so stupidly in love with you-“ you hesitate as the last words left your mouth. Your eyes widen at the sudden revelation that your biggest secret, the one that you’ve ever so carefully guarded had just passed your lips and you almost can’t believe it. Mark’s eyes form into saucers and you see him open his mouth, but you don’t hear any words come out.

You don’t hear anything after that. All you remember is scrambling to your feet and running. You run as far away from Mark as possible. You think you can vaguely hear him shouting your name, telling you to come back or wait, you can’t remember which. You just remember running through the woods, feeling the crunch of the leaves and the softness of the grass, not stopping until your feet touch the wood of the porch stairs in the back of the house.

You can barely hear anything over the loud sound of your ragged breathing and your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. You can’t even move another step. You’re just sitting at the top of the stairs, hoping that none of this actually happened, that you’re still asleep and late for lecture. You bury your face in your knees and hope that this is all a nightmare, but the sound of rustling leaves and twigs snapping tells you its not. Seconds later, Mark emerges just as out of breath as you are carrying your slippers. He immediately drops them and strides over only to encase you in the tightest hug you’ve ever received from Mark.

“n-no stop this! Let me go-“ you struggle against his grip, not believing that this is actually happening. But Mark is strong. Deceptively strong.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that you’re in love with me?” your entire world stops tracks at his confession, tears spilling down your cheeks, soaking into his shirt.

“Haven’t you ever wondered why I never dated other girls? Why I haven’t even looked at them? It’s because I never wanted anyone else but you. God... for years, you were the only girl I looked at. You make my heart race a little faster, your smile makes my day brighter and I felt so happy that you were willing to share all your secrets with me all the time. I’ve been in love with you since we were six years old.” Mark lets you pull back just a little, enough for you to still see him in all his glory. His hands gently caress your face and wipe away your tears. “I thought I was crazy for so long. I hoped that you would someday tell me that you loved me. The way you look at me, how I feel when I hug you or hold your hand… it’s the only thing I want to do. I’ve been holding back so much for so long… please let me be selfish…just this once.”

Before you can even begin to fathom what he’s talking about, his lips are pressed against yours in the first true kiss you’ve ever had. It’s soft almost like they’re not there, but the subtle movements and the light pressure prove that its real. You can feel yourself growing weak in the knees and your whole body caves into his tenderness. He’s now holding you like you’re made of glass, his kiss as soft as an angel’s wing. You think you might cry just, the cracks in your heart slowly mending themselves with each soft slide of his mouth against yours.

Mark pulls away too soon. You’re lost for a moment and confused as to what’s happening. Mark is just staring at you with adoration and affection in his eyes. Your fingers come to trace along his jaw, feeling the sharpness, your forefinger stopping at his chin, just below his bottom lip. Your fingertip lightly traces it, eliciting a soft quick inhale of air from Mark. You softly lean up and press your lips just shy of his on the corner of his mouth.

“Stay with me tonight…please.” His voice is barely above a whisper, his hands gently resting on your lower back. He presses his forehead against yours, not once breaking eye contact.

“Mark- I haven’t-“ you stumble over your words. You’re not ready.

“Y/N, I’m not asking for that. I just need to have you close. I just need to wake up in the morning and see that you’re still a part of my life.” Your erratic heart calms down. When you kiss him again, he gets the answer he’s looking for, the answer that he craves.

You both quietly make your way up to your rooms where you change into more comfortable clothes. You toe your way across the hall to Mark’s room where you find him sitting on his bed. You gently click his door shut and he looks up at you. Padding over to the empty half of the bed, you slide in beside Mark.

This shouldn’t be different. You’ve slept next to Mark countless times. But it is different. Knowing what you know now, every gaze, every touch, elevated beyond what you are familiar with. You remember glancing at the clock and it’s 2:39am.

***

Sunlight gently peaks through the curtains, causing you to stir in your sleep. You’re slowly coming to the realization that Mark’s arm is draped over your waist and he’s pressed into your back. You can feel the gently puffs of air from him breathing on your neck. He’s warm. Infinitely warm. You slowly turn onto your other side as to not disturb Mark.

Seeing mornings first light fall onto his face was a gift in itself. The highlights and shadows created on his face was a work of art. His skin glowing under the warm light, his lashes casting delicate shadows down his cheeks. Seeing Mark like this with the sun in his hair, waking up to him like this, to one day be able to call him yours would be the sweetest sin.

You gently reach up and gently brush a few pieces of hair from Mark’s face. Your fingertips gently graze over his features, almost like your trying to memorize a face that you’re already too familiar with. Mark’s eyes flutter open, the sunlight bringing out golden honey flecks in his eyes. He really is magic. The whole universe if encased in his eyes.

“Good Morning.” Mark’s voice is still soft as he leans forward and rests his forehead against yours, noses gently rubbing together. The gesture is so sweet, so loving.

“Good Morning, Mark.” Your hand blindly searches for his under the covers. You find his and gently trace along his hands, reveling in the new level of intimacy. Mark laces your hand in his, bringing them out from under the covers. He presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand; you feel the heat flooding into your cheeks causing Mark’s eyes to form those crescent moons you love so much. You lean in and press a kiss to Mark’s lips, only for him to pull back.

“Are you sure? I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet?” You snicker at his stupidity.

“You’re so dumb. I don’t care about your morning breath.” You tug on his shirt and draw him in. This kiss is just as soft as yesterday and just as affectionate. You can feel him smiling into this kiss and it warms your heart. Your hands find their way into his soft locks, fingers combing through gently with ease.

Being with Mark like this made time stop. You feel the world slip into slow motion when you’re with him. All those days where you weren’t with Mark are fading into a distant memory. Mark’s fingertips graze along your side, finding the little exposed area where your shirt has ridden up. He rubs small circles into your side before sliding up, moans bubbling up from your throat. Mark tilts his head deepening the kiss, increasing in fervor. Mark’s grip tightens on your waist, eliciting a gasp allowing Mark to slide his tongue in your mouth. Mark pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and in that moment your body stops functioning.

And in just a single moment, you wonder how you had the intentions of avoiding Mark for the entire week and in a matter of hours, you’re completely thrown that out the window and now have your hands in his hair and his tongue in your mouth, eliciting sounds from you that you didn’t know were possible.

Mark moves his kisses from your lips to across your cheek, slowly making their way down your jaw. Your fingers tightened on his hair with each gentle pass of Mark’s lips on your throat.

“Mark, I-“ and its over…the dreadful sound of your phone ringing interrupts the moment, telling you that your father is trying to get a hold of you. Outwardly groaning, you know you have to answer it otherwise your parents will come looking for you and you’re not sure you want them to find you and Mark like this right now.

You pull away and roll over and quickly answer your dad. He just tells you that breakfast is ready and that they will be going out tonight and wanted to know if you and Mark needed anything before they went out. You finish your conversation and hang up before flopping back down. You see that Mark had already gotten out of bed ruffling his hair before opening the windows letting the bright sunlight come flooding in. It’s just a little past 9:25 in the morning.

You slide out of bed and head back to your room and slide into your bathroom and start brushing your teeth. You stare into the sink of running water trying to piece together the events of the last 12 hours. Your best friend has reentered your life now he might be something more? What is he to your now…what are you to him? You turn on the shower to the hottest that you can withstand it and strip down and jump in, letting the scalding hot water cascade down your back. You lather up with soap and begin scrubbing down your skin and even as you clean yourself up for the morning, the only thing you can think about is the slide of Mark’s lips against yours, how his hands felt on your skin.

***

You rinse the conditioner from your hair and wrap yourself in a warm towel and just sit on the ground with your back against the door. You just sit there and fiddle with the ends of your hair as everything begins to slowly just sink in. A knock on your door pulls you out of your own head.

“Honey, everything okay in there?” Your mother’s voice resonates from the other side.

“Yeah, I just finished showering, I’ll be down in a minute!”

“Okay, sweetie.” You hear her footsteps leave and shut the door behind her. You open the door and just move through the motions. You towel dry your hair and change into jeans and a coral long sleeve shirt before applying light hair oil and a little bit of skincare before heading downstairs for breakfast.

You find your parents sitting at the table sipping on their coffee and Mark is at the table as well munching on some toast with peanut butter. He makes eye contact with you as you enter the kitchen and a small smile spreads across his face.

You take your seat next to your mother and they greet you like the typical annoying parents they are.

“Well, good morning to you little miss sunshine. We thought you were going to sleep the entire day away.” Mrs. Lee lightly laughs.

“Sorry, I guess I just wanted to get some good sleep. Uni hasn’t exactly been kind to me lately.” You spoon some scrambled eggs into your mouth.

“It’s okay dear. I’m just teasing you. I’m glad you’re able to catch up on sleep while on vacation. Did you want some coffee? A little cream and no sugar, right?”

You nod your head at her as you have a mouth full of eggs again. Mrs. Lee just smiles at you as she pours your coffee and adds the perfect amount of creamer and places it in front of you before starting the dishes. You finish eating your food and start slowly sipping on your coffee while scrolling through your phone.

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Mark washing his plate and heading upstairs without so much as a glance back at you. You finish your coffee and take care of your dishes before heading upstairs back to your room.

Just as you’re about to turn into your room, a hand wraps around your wrist pulling you backwards. You’re about to squeal when a hand suddenly covers your mouth. Your vision refocuses and you see Mark’s face. He lifts his hand off your mouth after he realizes you’re not going to scream.

“Can I help you?” you ask, trying to get you heartbeat to calm down.

“I just wanted a kiss. We haven’t told our parents yet and I don’t think they want to find out about us by finding us kissing in the kitchen.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lean up on your tip toes, mere inches from his lips, a teasing smile dancing across your lips. You close the distance just enough for your lips to just barely ghost over his, “Satisfied?” you whisper.

Mark’s hands settle on your waist, “not even close.” Mark closes the distance, his lips finding yours in an instant. Kissing Mark is something that you’re sure you’ll never get used to. You can feel his tongue ever so slightly graze your bottom lip. This triggers something inside you, something deep and primal. Your fingers graze along his jaw, one single digit tracing along his bottom lip. You break the kiss and Mark accepts your digit into his mouth, his tongue lightly grazing over it. You pull your finger out and immediately reclaim his lips with your own, your own tongue sliding into his mouth immediately. You can taste something sweet and something that’s entire Mark. You can feel him hum at how aggressive you’re being right now, the pit in your stomach growing tight and your own desire growing rapidly.

Mark loves you more than anything in the world and you can feel it now. He’s known you for so long, but he’s never seen you like this. He never thought in a million years that you’d be here right now with him like this. He thinks he’s the luckiest man in the world. Mark’s already become addicted to your taste and he wants to keep that in his memory. He presses you into the wall until there’s no space left between your bodies.

He’s the first to pull away, but only to graze his teeth down your neck. He’s careful as to not leave visible marks but he wants to. He _almost_ doesn’t care if his parents or his friends see them. He wants the world to know who you belong to. He pulls lightly at the collar of your shirt silently asking. Nodding at his request, Mark makes eye contact as his lips come in contact just below your collarbone in one slow lovers kiss. There’s a mild sharpness from the graze of his teeth, but it quickly subsides as his tongue laps over the mark beginning to form.

That’s when you feel it. You can feel something hard pressing against you. At first you think that it’s his leg muscle, but when you feel it twitch, you know its not. You immediately become slightly uncomfortable and shift around.

_Big Mistake_

That one subtle movement grazed your heat over his. The sounds filling your ears were completely new. Hesitantly you continued to repeat the motion. You continued to grind onto him and it felt good. It felt so damn good and you want to keep doing it.

Mark immediately pulls back as your ministrations become more aggressive and he can feel himself getting closer to his release, “Wait- wait-“

You immediately halt your actions and turn a bright shade of red. You can’t believe you just did that. You almost lost your head and took it too far. You immediately break from the wall while Mark is slightly flustered and bury yourself in his bed, hiding from your embarrassment, praying that you can just magically melt into nothing.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Mark pulls at the sheets trying to uncover you.

“I’m sorry- I didn’t-“Mark being stronger than you finally yanks the sheets off the bed leaving you with nowhere to hide.

“Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just don’t our first time to happen like this. I want to spoil you and take you out on a date, have dinner together and more importantly make sure that this is something we’re both ready for.”

“But Mark you’re-“you hesitate on that last word as its something you’re not used to saying.

“I know and I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about me.” Mark lovingly strokes the side of your face, “You’re so perfect I almost can’t believe that you’re real. I promise that this is something I want. I told you that I’d never make you do something you weren’t ready for and I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to be comfortable, until you’re ready.” Mark’s hand finds your and laces your fingers together in the most loving way. It’s at this point, this moment in time, where you realize that every touch that is exchanged between the two of you now, would never be the same.

***

Three months pass and Mark is still a man of his word. You both go back to how things used to be. Having lunch and dinner together, studying at the university library until you both get kicked out because its closing, him showing up with coffee and little treats that he knows you like. The little exchange of kisses when he walks you to lecture.

Currently sitting in one of the soundproof music practice rooms with Mark, you’re working on your analysis of Shakespeare’s _Othello_. Mark is currently doing music theory and working on his piece for his performance test next week.

You find that you love listening to Mark practice whether its on the piano or guitar. But you’ve also rediscovered your love for listening to Mark sing. You think that Mark has always been a great singer. You loved listening to him strum his guitar and sing little sections of your favorite Frank Ocean songs to you.

You’re tapping your pen along the pages of your book, appearing to be deep in thought about the book, but you’re just thinking about how your relationship with Mark has progressed. Mark is the boyfriend that you always thought he would be. He’s always been sweet and considerate of you, but his affection has changed. Its much more than it was. When he walks you back to your apartment, he hold your hand which isn’t anything new, but the way he gently caresses his thumb over your hand or how he places gentle kisses on your hand before letting go.

You remember Valentine’s Day and Mark had woken up early and made you pancakes and coffee bringing them over with your favorite flowers. You remember coming out of your room into the shared kitchen space only to find Mark there pouring you coffee and a lovely arrangement sitting in the middle of the table. You remember hugging him and placing a sweet kiss on his cheek, telling him how much you loved him and his cheesy gestures, making him blush furiously.

The sound of Mark playing the wrong chord, which caused a cringy sound to ring out from the piano drew you back to reality. You watch as Mark’s brow furrows as he tris to figure out where he went with his chord. And it sort of just slips out, “I’m ready.”

Mark just looks up at you and blinks a few time registering your words, “Y/N, it’s only been an hour, we still have more work to-“

“No not that. I want you, Mark.” Saying those words was so unnatural, but they felt right. You could only hope that Mark wouldn’t notice the hot flush creeping up your neck. You look back down at your book and pray that he forgets that you said anything.

He’s in front of you before you can even think about the current scene and he’s squatted in front of you. He takes the book out of your hands and closes it before casting it aside.

“Look at me, please.” His gaze is soft when you meet it. His eyes are the same sweet brown, “you’re sure about this?”

“I am, Mark. I’m ready.” He smiles at you and leans up pressing a sweet kiss to your lips.

“Okay, my love, but not tonight.” A light pout forms on your lips, “don’t look at me like that,” he teases, “but seriously, I want this to be perfect and I can’t give you perfection tonight. Three days. That’s all I’m asking for. I want to give you the kind of night you deserve.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you both resume working with the stupidest grins on your faces.

Little did you know that Mark has had this plan laid out for when you were ready, it was just a matter of executing it. Mark would make sure that this Saturday would be the most unforgettable night of your life.

***

Days later, you wake up to a text from Mark telling you to be at his apartment at 6:30pm. You smile at his message as joy fills your body. You glance over at the clock and see that its almost noon. Seulgi had gone home for the weekend so there was no one else in the room.

The next hours are spent pampering yourself. You soak in a warm bath and put on a mask and deep condition your hair. Not knowing what Mark has planned for you is the most nerve wrecking part of this whole night. You slide on your most acceptable matching bra and panties and dry your hair before beginning the struggle of choosing what to wear.

“ugh, it shouldn’t be this fricken hard. Its Mark for crying outloud. He’s seen me in sweats and my Minnie mouse sleep shirt for crying out loud.” You mutter to yourself.

You settle on some black jeans and a white off the shoulder top with some ballet flats. You smooth your hair out with a little hair oil and apply some light makeup. A few quick spritz of perfume and you’re out the door and on your way to Mark’s apartment.

The five minute walk seems to pass by in the blink of an eye and before you know it, you’re punching in the code to enter the complex. The elevator ride up to the eighth floor is agonizing. You fidget with the ends of your hair as your mind begins to run wild again. The elevator dings letting you know that you’ve arrived, and you begin heading for his apartment at the end of the hallway. Mark specifically picked this apartment because the bedroom was on the very end of the building so he didn’t have neighbors so if he wanted to listen to music, workout, or even practice at two in the morning, he could so without noise complaints from the neighbors.

Turning the corner and finally standing in front of his door, you muster up every last nerve to knock on the door softly. You can hear soft footsteps approaching and the sound of a lock coming undone. Mark opens the door and you’re greeted by him with a soft charming smile. His hair is nicely styled out of his eyes, showcasing his handsome features.

“You’re never late are you?”

You laugh lightly, “Never.”

He steps aside and lets you inside. You’re immediately in awe at what he’s done for you. The lights are soft, roses are in every corner of the room with candles in your favorite scent burning on the table. You can lightly hear soft romantic instrumentals playing in the background, probably from a speaker that he’s hidden somewhere.

“Mark, this…this is incredible” you turn and find him leaning against the wall watching you admire his work, “I love it.” You fingers graze over the rose petals that decorated the table, the soft floral scent floating around you.

Mark wraps his arms around your waist and gently kisses your cheek before burying his face into your neck, the soft puffs from him breathing raising your heartbeat slowly but surely. You lace your fingers together and just stay like that, lightly swaying to the soft beats. You just stay like that cherishing this moment, enjoying each other’s presence.

You lean a little further into Mark, feel his chest press against you. It’s only a few moments that pass before you feel it. You can feel his heartbeat. It’s fast, his pulse coursing through his body. You gently guide one of his hands to rest flat over your own heart, hoping that he can feel how he makes your heartbeat, how he makes you feel.

Mark’s hand rests there, taking in the feeling, loving that he makes you feel the same way you make him feel. Mark spins you around and your chest is pressed against his. His hands are still at your waist as he searches for any signs of discomfort. His palm comes to rest on your cheek, “you’re so beautiful. I love you so much.” You nuzzled you face into his hand pressed a soft kiss to his palm.

You watch as Mark’s eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips. You want him to kiss you. It’s all you want right now. You lean up on your tiptoes and gently kiss the corner of his mouth, only to pull back mere centimeters from his lips. You can feel Mark’s breathing becoming uneven when you gently graze your noses together. You’re not sure who pressed forward first, but all you know is that Mark is the one who isn’t going to let go of you now. His hand threads itself into your hair, your arms coming to wrap around his neck as your eyes flutter closed, losing yourself in everything that is Mark.

His taste is addicting beyond belief. His touch, his scent, every slide of his lips against yours driving you with need. You feel Marks hands roam your back, bunching your shirt in his fist. Mark gently pulls back and you chase his lips, missing the feeling.

He pulls you back towards his bedroom, where you find his freshly made bed covered in rose petals. The atmosphere is the same, but infinitely more intimate. Somewhere between the living room and his bedroom, you lose your shoes, but you couldn’t give a damn at this point. Mark closes his door and presses you into the wall before claiming your lips in a far deeper kiss than you were expecting. His tongue slides into your mouth, stealing all the air from your lungs.

Not once breaking this kiss, Mark guides you towards the bed where he lays you down, his kisses moving from your lips to your throat, little nips driving you a little mad. You reach down to the end of your own shirt, Mark pulling back to watch your actions. You lift the shirt over your head, revealing your bra. You can feel Mark’s eyes drinking you all in and you all of a sudden feel a little self-conscious. Your arms cross over your chest in your feeble attempt at hiding your body, but that’s very short lived. Mark takes one wrist in each hand and gently pries them away. His lips press kisses to the tops of your breasts throwing your breathing completely out the window. His kisses feel like they’re burning, leaving a trail of fire as he moved from the swell of your breasts down your stomach, stopping just above your pants. His kisses becoming longer, more persistent as his teeth scrape against your skin ever so sweetly so that it doesn’t hurt but feels so good.

Mark’s eyes meet yours and find that you’re watching his every move. He silently asks for permission for what he’s about to do. You nod before he pops the button on your jeans, sliding them down your legs, leaving you nearly bare before him. He climbs on top of you, supporting a majority of his weight on his forearms as he kisses you again and you match his with equal desire and passion. Your hands roam his back and begin tugging at the infuriating piece of clothing.

Mark leans back and tugs his shirt over his head discarding it somewhere. You’ve seen Mark without a shirt before, countless times in fact, but seeing him in this setting is makes you blush. The flush creeping up your neck. You lean back up kissing his throat, loving the noises you’re eliciting from him, losing all senses in the feeling of the vibrations from his moans on your lips.

Mark doesn’t stop what you’re doing, he just rolls back, pulling you on top of him. He let’s his hands roam all across your bare skin, like he’s trying to memorize everything about your figure. With you straddling his waist you can feel everything. You can feel his cock pressing against you and you’re not sure what brazenness possessed you, but you rocked down on it, moans coming from both of you, enough to shoot pleasure into your core. Maybe it was the scent of his cologne driving you wild, maybe it was just the heat of the moment, in truth, you didn’t care. You can already feel your panties soaking against you. The small noises coming from Mark tell you that what you’re doing feels so good to him and so you keep doing it, wanting to make him feel good too.

Your lips trail down from his throat which is now littered with red and purple blossoms that are going to have to be covered later if he wants to go out. You kiss down his chest feeling how his body reacts under your touch. Your hands come to rest on his belt, “can i?”

“of course, baby” you let your nimble fingers work on the buckle as Mark leans up on his forearms watching you with tentative eyes. You finally get the belt undone and work on the button and zipper. You’re ever so grateful that Mark lifts his hips in your efforts to get his pants down his legs, leaving him only in his grey boxers.

Mark draws you back up and kisses you, erasing every thought of your brain that isn’t about him. His hands find the clasp of your bra and fumble with it a little before he gets it undone and it slides down your arms baring your breasts to him. His thumbs caress your sensitive nipples until they’re stiff and hard. Mark gives your nipple a light passing with his tongue, only to have your body respond by arching into him even more. He takes his time, giving each the attention they deserve in his mind.

You don’t think anything of it when Mark’s hands roam your body, your back, sides, stomach all being set ablaze, it’s not until a single digit makes a pass over the wet patch in your panties that you lightly gasp in surprise from the feeling.

“You okay?” he asks, halting all movement.

“Yes, I just wasn’t ready for how good that would feel.” You say, your blush coming back.

“Okay, do you want me to keep going?” he whispers gently rubbing your back.

You want to scream in pleasure, but you nod and he slips his hand back down and presses back into that sensitive spot. You think you’re about to break your back from how much its arching. He moves your panties aside and his fingers rub through your soaked folds.

“Shit, you’re so wet, baby.” He’s careful, he continues to touch you delicately as to not overwhelm you too much, but you are. You’re beyond overwhelmed but in all the best ways. His fingers keep passing over your clit, your moans floating into Mark’s ears like music. “Good?”

All you can do is nod as he keeps circling your clit. He withdraws his hand only to grab onto the sides of your panties, “I’m going to take these off.” You lift your hips to help him just as he helped you.

His fingers return back to your pussy just to circle your clit a few more times before he slides a single finger into your hole. It’s nothing you can’t handle, it just strange having something like that inside you. He reaches deeper than your own fingers ever could. He moves it in and out of your letting you get used to the sensation before introducing a second finger, the stretch is a little more uncomfortable than the last, but it’s still okay. Mark slowly fucks them into you with slow flicks of his wrist.

Mark is beginning to love the sounds he’s drawing from you. All of his dirty fantasies coming true. He never thought he would get to touch you like this. He’s happy that he can bring you pleasure like this. 

It’s only when Mark removes his fingers that this is becoming a little more real.

“I’m going to let you be on top, so you can control the pace. Okay?” he searches your face for uncertainty and finds none.

He removes his boxers and chucks them somewhere and this is the first time you’ve ever seen Mark’s cock. It’s bigger than you thought and you’re now a little bit nervous.

“do you want a condom or-?” Mark asks.

“I’m on the pill and you’re clean right?” he nods. “I just want it to be us tonight, Mark. Nothing in between.” You settle in his lap and kiss him again. You grab his cock for the first time and run your hand up and down his length causing Mark to moan, thrusting up into your touch.

“Are you sure?” Mark asks one last time.

“Yes. I want you, so much.” Mark smiles at you and soon his tongue is sliding into your mouth as you begin to lower yourself down on his cock. There’s a little pain, a mild burning and a slight stretch, but nothing that you can’t handle. It’s a reminder that this is all real and actually happening. You find your hips flush against his after what seems like an eternity. You’re still kissing Mark as a distraction, trying to get used to his size. You swivel your hips around and lift yourself up and down a few times to test the waters.

The pain subsides into pleasure and that’s all you can think about now. You slow start riding him trying to even out your rhythm, Mark’s face is screwed shut as his hands finding purchase on your waist.

“You’re so tight, baby. You’re doing so good for me. So, so good.” He kisses your face in assurance as you continue to ride him. You can feel cramps forming in your thighs from the unfamiliar motions and you’re whining at this point. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer, but it’s just barely out of your reach.

“Mark I-I can’t-“you whine out.

He kisses your cheeks, “shhhh, its okay. I got you baby. Lay back for me?” you lean down on your back, Mark’s still inside of you and following you so that he’s back on his forearms. “I’m going to take care of you, I promise.”

He’s still hard inside of you and he moves at the same slow pace, letting you get used to the feeling again. Your hands find purchase on his broad shoulders, nails digging into his skin which is bound to leave indents. Your legs wrap around Mark’s waist which changes the angle of his thrusts, causing them to go deeper into you.

You can feel the tightness in your stomach return and it’s coming faster than the last time. Mark’s pace starts to faulter as you can tell he’s also trying to chase his own high while still being mindful of you.

“I-I’m so close, Mark- please-“you whimper out. It’s almost too much at this point.

“Shh, I know it’s okay. Let go, I’ve got you.” A few seconds later you’re cumming and it feels like someone is pouring liquid fire into your veins as you tighten around Mark. Your back is arching off the bed as the silent scream that leaves your throat. Mark continues to fuck you through your bliss chasing his own high which comes moments later. You can feel him cumming inside you, with a deep groan of your name and a shudder running through his body.

Mark’s forearms give out and he collapses on top of you, his face buried in your neck. Moments pass as your breathing steadies and so does Mark’s. He lifts his head and kisses you more delicately this time before rolling off of you and carefully pulling out, mindful that you might be sensitive from your orgasm.

You roll over onto your side and sit up wanting to go to the bathroom and clean up. You go to stand up and your legs immediately turn into jello and you fall with an alarming yelp and thud.

Mark is immediately right next to you helping you up. He carries you to the bathroom where he cleans you up and gives you come pain medicine to help with the soreness. He carries you back to bed where he leaves you only for a moment. He returns with a very familiar red shirt. It’s one of your favorites. Mark’s family had taken you on a trip to Vancouver with them while yours were on a long business trip and you had bought matching shirts.

Mark slips the oversized shirt over your head and kisses you one last time before sliding in next to you, holding the covers open for you to slide in next to him. You tuck your head under his chin as his arms drape over you and legs tangle together.

“Hey Mark?” you whisper, he lightly hums telling you that he’s till awake but barely, “I love you.” You can feel Mark smiling as he kisses your forehead, “I love you too.” Sleep immediately overtakes you both and you think you’ve never been happier.

***

It’s been three years since you and Mark started dating and both of your parents were elated that it finally happened. You wished you could have sat down and told them together rather than them finding out the way they did. Mark had been a little rougher than usual and littered your neck with purple blossoms and both of your parents decided to make a surprise visit the morning after.

They weren’t thrilled about you two having sex so early, but they both agreed it was okay because you’re both adults and were being safe about it. All the secret conversations coming up from the past about how they always thought you two would eventually end up together came out over a nice lunch, they just didn’t think it would take this long.

***

Graduation day comes and Mark is the only stable thing by your side. Even with the thousands of people around you. Mark’s hand in yours in the only solid thing that’s keeping you together. Graduation night comes messily as Mark rocks into you as you can feel all the past horrible memories fading into nothing. With each push and pull, you begin to forgive all the lies that you’ve told yourself as you tried to deny that you love the man that’s in front of you.

***

It’s your 25th birthday and you and Mark are out for your traditional birthday dinner. During dessert, Mark pulls out a card and gives it to you. You open it and read through it. Your heart feels so full as Mark shares all the things he loves about you, all the times that he wished he had told you sooner that he was in love with you, even the times where you had left him and how much he missed you. This letter crushed you and revitalized you in so many ways.

“There’s one more thing,” Mark pulls out a small-ish velvet box and hands it to you. Inside it is a ring and you’re immediately surprised. You can see that the ring has ‘I love you’ engraved on the inside.

“Mark is this-“so many thoughts rushed through your head immediately as panic began setting in. How were you going to say yes? Were you even ready to get married yet?

“I’m not asking you to marry me right now. This is just my way of telling you that when you’re ready you’ll give this back and I’ll ask you to marry me. It doesn’t have to be today, nor tomorrow. It can be whenever you want it to be. You’re the only thing in my life that I’ve never questioned. I told you. It’s forever with you.”

Tears spill when you kiss him. It’s not the first time you’ve said I love you to Mark and it won’t be the last, but this is the first time you’ve ever kissed him like this. So gentle and tender. You’re sure that you can feel Mark reciprocating your feelings, his own words and confession burned onto your tongue and sealed in your heart. Mark tastes like chocolate cake and sunshine, but all you can think about is how all the events in your life lead you up to this point, and where the future will take you two together.

fin

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! This is literally the first work I've ever published and so there may be spelling and grammatical errors that I didn't catch so I do apologize for that ^^;;; Please feel free to leave comments (please be gentle) <3


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